


In Which Dave Strider and Kanaya Maryam Have a Brief Discussion on Human Reproduction, Then Kanaya and Rose Take the Discussion Much Further

by StillTicksAway



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, shark week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-07
Updated: 2012-01-08
Packaged: 2017-10-29 03:30:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/315330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StillTicksAway/pseuds/StillTicksAway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Which Dave Strider and Kanaya Maryam Have a Brief Discussion on Human Reproduction, Then Kanaya and Rose Take the Discussion Much Further, Contains a Lack of Rapping, Several Exchanges of Words, and Blood</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

Dave was rapping. There were plenty of empty rooms in the meteor of a ship, and he was more than happy to commandeer one for sick rhymes. Sometimes Tavros would sit in on his secessions. It was cool. Dave didn’t mind that audience. Half of him considered taking the rhythmically challenged troll under a nonexistent wing. Occasionally Gamzee would do the same, with a smile on his face that would have unnerved the cool kid, if he were capable of loosing a beat, which he wasn’t. Though they’d dueled in the past, it was clear the juggalo was not looking for a rematch. Then there were times when both the trolls sat in there. Dave usually finished his set before booking to somewhere, anywhere else on the meteor. He could tell there was some messy history there, and he didn’t want to end up an unwilling member of decapitated, sloppy makeout secession.  


Kanaya was not the kind of troll to appreciate Dave’s wicked beats. That was cool. To each their own. Dave and Kanaya were of course civil and even friendly to each other, but nowhere near as close as the troll and his ectosister were. Also cool. Which was why when, during just another average yet brilliant set, Dave raised an eyebrow at her entrance. She shifted from one foot to another, fidgeting, waiting for him to be done. Obviously looking for something, but too polite to disturb a cool kid in his natural element.  


After a crescendo, Dave pulled off his headphones and gave a nod, “Sup?”  


“Yes. Dave. Thank you for an audience. I was…wondering if you could provide advice regarding your ectosister.”  


“K. Sure,” Dave responded tersely. He could see the troll was going to dance around the subject for a while. Whatever it was. But Dave Strider was a no nonsense kind of guy.  


“Something seems to be…off with Rose. This is not the first time this has occurred. In fact, it seems a periodic event. But whenever it arises, she seals herself in her respiteblock for at least a day, or whatever passes for a day here.” Kanaya’s eyes wandered everywhere through the room, avoiding Dave’s shades. He’d gone through this with other trolls and humans—the lack of being able to read him set something off. He liked it just fine.  


“Ever think of letting her be?” Dave asked with his eyebrows raised, though Kanaya couldn’t see them behind his shades. His stomach had gone down a notch as the cogs in his head started turning, but he wouldn’t let that show either.  


“I suppose. But…if only she would tell me what was wrong. I am concerned. Rose is typically so amicable…cordial…evocative…” a hint of a jade colored blushed spread out on Kanaya’s face.  


Dave coughed to cover up a laugh. Nice Rose, real nice. So much for Vantas’s ban on troll/human makeouts. Not that he didn’t already know it was happening. Everyone on the meteor did. Hell, everyone in the Furthest Ring knew. Sun’s green. 3 years is too fucking long. And Rose Lalonde and Kanaya Maryam are in lesbians with each other.  


“It’s more though. Whenever it happens…she is bleeding!”  


Dave did cough that time. Shifted and turned. This was not a conversation he wanted to have. Ever. Never fucking ever. Nope. He rested a hand on his turntable for support. Or to keep himself from involuntarily absconding. Whichever.  


“It is part of being a rainbow drinker that I know. I am worried. To loose so much blood, over the course of days--!”  


“Rose gets moody, huh? Every, what 28 days or so? Bleeds for,” Dave swallowed, trying very hard to keep his voice its usual distant and level self, “a week-ish?”  


“Exactly!” Kanaya ‘s eyes locked onto Dave’s shades, searching for answers beneath them. Yup, Dave knew exactly what was going on.  


And frankly, wild hoofbeasts couldn’t drag the words out of him. “I’ll level with you, ‘cause you and Rose are tight. Right?” He raised his hands, and scissored his fingers together obscenely. "Buckets tight?" Kanaya blushed all the more. They were both uncomfortable. Dave felt much better.  


“We are, yes, very ‘tight’.”  


“Okay. Okay.” His hands went back to his sides, into his neutral stance. “I don’t know much about troll Bodies and Selves, but judging by buckets alone…” Dave glanced to the side and licked his lips. How to talk about it without talking about it? He wished, more than usual, that John and especially Jade were on the meteor with him. “Human females, well most of ‘em, go through reproduction cycles.” He almost stumbled over the words. Breathe Strider, he told himself. You can do this.  


Kanaya’s widening eyes and focused expression didn’t help. Dave exhaled. “The side effects may include bloating, nausea, mood swings, increased appetite, and lots of pain in general.”  


The troll blinked. Her eyes narrowed. “What?”  


“Fucking Jegus.” Dave facepalmed and gave his eyes a rub, before setting his glasses back in place. He took another breath. “Okay, let me lay it down for you.” He hesitated for one second, reminded himself that Striders don’t hesitate, then put his headphones back on. One more breath before jumping in.  


And then his brain froze.  


Nope.  


Hell no.  


Hell. Fucking. No.  


If anyone in the multiverse could lay down the sickest of rhymes about anything, it was Dave Motherfucking Strider.  


Just not this.  


He took his headphones off again. “Look. This is a human female thing. It wouldn’t be right for me to tap dance with a third-legged limp all over the subject matter. Ask Rose. Be assertive. If you guys are that tight, you’ll talk.”  


“I…I suppose you are right.”  


Damn straight he was right.  


“I am sorry for breaking human social conventions and talking to a male about a female subject matter, Dave.”  


“No problem. Just sort out your couple problems with your girlfriend, or whatever it is you trolls call it.”  


“Matesprits.”  


“Yeah, that.”  


Kanaya left. Dave turned up a bass line and spent the next several hours trying to bleach his brain with all the rhymes he could make.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ((Is there a troll jargon for 'bathroom' and 'toilet'?))

Pain. Pain and sickness. Pain, sickness, and wishing she’d captchalogued several bottles of midol. And pads. And eventually tampons. Rose had woken up earlier that night, morning, whatever, when she should have been sleeping, and felt a familiar throbbing below her waist. In a few hours her suspicions were confirmed. She had shortly thereafter locked herself in the room she claimed as hers with a thoroughly washed, and re-sewn towel that now resembled the washable pads she had researched on the internet years before entering the game.

The first time it had happened was a few months into their 3 year travel. It was understandable. She was at that age. She had already researched and memorized what she would need. But. Nothing would have prepared her for the pain of cramps. The throbbing. The aching.

Damn it to live out eons among horrorterrors there and back again, it hurt.

Which was why Rose was convulsing into different positions now, trying to find some contortion that would bring her relief. It never came. She knew this all too well. She had done this before. She would do it again.

She missed modern medicine.

She missed convenience stores.

She missed her mother. Rose had fought endlessly with her mother back on Earth, but she still wanted a matriarch figure to tell her it would be okay, because frankly, she was in too much pain to tell herself that.

Rose knew eventually she would be.

But that didn’t stop the pain she felt now.

She had skipped breakfast and lunch, too nauseous and not willing to risk throwing up. Again. That happened sometimes. But her hunger was starting to get the better of her. There would probably be another hour or two or three of this. Then maybe food. But not now. Thinking about food now only made her sicker.   
Rose groaned in pain as she shifted onto her knees, and exhaled.

Ow. Ow.

Please. Just. Stop.

Ow.

She exhaled and kneaded her palm into her abdomen. She needed to sit in a hot tub of water. They existed on the meteor, thankfully. Rose exhaled again and extended her Seer powers to discover if she could make it to a tub without running into anyone else. No. Unfortunately. In fact she was going to be shortly interrupted by Kanaya, who Rose would usually be all too glad to see. But not now.

There was a knock on the door, “Rose? You were not at 2 meals today. Are you alright?”

Just keep breathing. For the most part, the other members of their group left Rose alone when she wanted to be alone. She gave off that kind of air. Except Kanaya. They had spent a lot of time together. They talked about their cultures, about their failings and beauty. Kanaya had shown her enthusiasm for fashion, something that other trolls did not appreciate. Rose had taught Kanaya how to knit. They swapped books, or read together, leaning against each other, sharing space they often reserved for a wanted isolation. And, of course, they’d done things. Shy kissing, at first. Holding hands. Delving into sloppy makeouts. And a bit more. Not quite to the pail part. Any other time, Rose would want Kanaya beside her.

“I need to be alone. Not feeling well.” Another wave of pain hit her, and Rose cried into her arm to stifle the sound.

“Is there nothing I can do for you?” Kanaya asked earnestly.

“No. Just. Go. Please.”

Rose waited. Kanaya left. Rose searched out her path again. All clear. Three breaths, preparing herself. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this.

Hunched over, one hand on the wall, the other touching herself in what others might consider an inappropriate fashion, Rose stumbled to the bathroom, forcing herself to keep breathing all the while.

You can do this. Hot water will do you good. You can do this.

She hissed in pain as the tap warmed up, shivering in a fetal position, and sighed in achy relief once she submerged herself. Her skin flushed. At any other time, it would be too hot a temperature for her. Not now. It still hurt, and she still felt sick, but at least she could…well, actually, she still couldn’t do that much of anything. But she felt better, and that was what mattered.

Given her interrupted sleep before and the hours of pain she had gone through, it was no surprised Rose found herself happily drifting off. Relief. Finally.

Rose came to consciousness again lazily. The water was still warm, though no longer scolding. She opened her eyes a little, then let them close again. She could use them later. She slowly settled back into her body. Yes. Much better. Tired, certainly, but not in overwhelming pain anymore. She lightly ran her fingers up one arm, then the other. The ache was gone. She ran a hand from her knee up, and sigh escaped her lips. The tension had faded. She kneaded her pelvis and emitted a louder sigh. Much better.

“A-ah!” Rose heard a gasp and opened her eyes. Sitting on the toilet, with a bowl of rice on her lap was Kanaya. They locked eyes. Kanaya’s vision shifted quickly to the floor and she blushed furiously. “I-I thought you might want something to eat.”


	3. Chapter 3

Rose had dismissed Kanaya once already, and the troll had gone to seek out the advice of the other human. Dave and Rose had known each other longer, and Kanaya felt no shame in asking. The conversation had been embarrassing, but enlightening. In fact, Kanaya was probably one of the few trolls in the existence of trolls to understand what Dave meant, though he spoke very indirectly about the whole matter. Cultural differences.

Kanaya had watched over her mothergrub for sweeps. She understood what a birthing cycle was like. She also knew, though it had only happened once, what happened when a mothergrub did not have genetic slurry at the right time. Though Rose and Kanaya had only briefly touched on human biology, she thought she knew enough. First, she found some clean sopor. Then she grabbed some basic provisions. Rose would be hungry, and tired, and in pain. Everyone has a job to do, and Kanaya knew where she was needed.

Or, she thought she did. Kanaya knocked on the door to Rose’s respiteblock with 3 light raps. “Rose? I know you told me you needed to be alone, but I believe I can help you ‘feel well.’” Kanaya waited. No response. She knocked again. Still no response. Rose could be asleep. If so...Kanaya weighted thoughts in her head. Interrupting another troll’s sleep was bad form, unless the troll was in your quadrants. Still, Rose should want to sleep off the pain. Yet again…  
Just a peek.

But Rose was not there. Kanaya looked around the respiteblock several times; she might have missed her somewhere in the clutter: piles of books, stacks of paper, her knitting, the ‘bed’. No Rose.

Kanaya inhaled the smell of Rose. Rain, light, and the metallic tang of her blood, of course. She may not have been Terezi, but she still had some advantages of a rainbow drinker. Rose went…this way. The ablutionblock. It was there Kanaya discovered Rose sleeping in warm water. It made sense, it would relax her. And she seemed to be recovering.

The rainbow drinker enjoyed her view. All of Rose’s muscles had a tightened look about them from exertion. If Dave’s aside commentary was correct, if this was something that happened every 28 days…how pathetic and weak it made Rose. This cycle of her anatomy left her utterly drained. It was hard to resist taking her in her arms and coddling her. No, not coddle. Not at all. Kanaya swallowed, and bit her lip. She rarely felt pity for the human she was so flushed for, but now it enveloped her completely.

Kanaya didn’t have to wait long for Rose to wake. Her eyes fluttered open, only to close. She ran her hands along her limbs—probably making sure she still had everything in tack. And then:

“Mmm.”

Kanaya’s ears pricked up. Of course, Rose certainly wasn’t. Of course not.

“Mhmmm.”

Kanaya groped around the ablution tap, of course, finding the fated key, unlocking her captchlogue: “A-ah!”

Rose looked up. Her face flushed.

Kanaya focused on the floor. “I-I thought you might want something to eat.” She waited for a response, received none, and continued, “I asked Dave…and I thought I understood. My lusus, as you know, was the mothergrub, and I have an understanding of reproduction.”

Still no response.

“I thought you would need nourishment, after your long suffering.” She held out the provisions.

“Kanaya, I’m naked.”

Kanaya looked up. Rose was looking away, crossing her arms, knees to her chest. Blushing. Defensive.

“What is ‘naked’?”

“Of all the things trolls don’t--” Rose sounded annoyed. “I’m not wearing any clothes, Kanaya. Nude. I had thought we would eventually reach this, but—why are you here?”

“Oh!” A spark lit in Kanaya’s head, and she understood. She turned to face the door, though she wished she did not need to. Rose was even more defenseless than she originally surmised. Pitiful. “I apologize. I did not know a lack of clothes was a private thing. For a random troll, er, being, maybe, but less so for someone…” She trailed off from her cultural lecture, then held out the provisions again. “Mothergrub was always especially hungry after…”

Rose took the bowl. Kanaya relaxed a bit, though she felt uncomfortably hot. She inhaled sharply through her nose. Yes, Rose was bleeding. But she had looked unscathed…where…oh….oh! She heard Rose eating hungrily. She waited, not wanting to leave. She could feel her cardiovascular system working overtime, heard the loud pounding up through her horns.

“On Earth…it would be an awkward mother-daughter bonding experience. I miss her. Sometimes I forget.”

“I understand,” Kanaya responded. Of course Rose would miss her lususmother. And certainly, Kanaya was concerned about Rose’s emotional well-being during her distress. Still, this confession only made Kanaya hotter under the collar. She needed to leave. It was the proper thing to do.

There was another moment Rose filled with eating. Then, she returned the bowl to Kanaya, who jumped when it touched her hand. She was reacting to tupperware for gog’s sake. “I also understand,” Kanaya said, trying to clear her head, “that while we are all trying to be strong, or at least craft brazen facades, that we need to know we can rely on each other. This is medical. You should treat it as such.” Kanaya pulled out the jar of sopor. “You should take this. It is a basic muscle relaxer. Though it could react differently with humans.” She heard Rose unseal the jar, and give it a sniff before closing it again. “It can be administered orally, though it could burn. I suggest topically application.” Kanaya felt her blush increase. She had a momentary desire to consume one of Gamzee’s “slime pies”, though of course she would want a seasoning attached to it.

She mentally berated herself. Still not the time to be thinking about pails. “I wanted to learned more about…ah, ‘this’,” her words were escaping her, “but I think the discussion should take place after you have recovered. Before I abscond, I wanted to say…ah…” she took another breath, then very uncharacteristically, rushed through her next statement, “Iwouldbehappytodowhateverwouldhelpyoufeelhappierormorecomfortable.” Then, she took another breath, and added, more in her usual tone: “Anything.” So suggestive! She hoped Rose would not be offended. But at least, Kanaya had spoken her mind. She gave herself another indulgent inhale of scent, before walking forward.

She jumped again as Rose’s hand took her own.

“Anything?”

Rose pulled her hand back, and rubbed her face against it. Kanaya did not think she could blush anymore, but was proven wrong. Did all humans have ridiculously soft skin, or was it simply Rose? It always felt like coocoonthread, a fabric Kanaya was always hesitant to use. It required a gentle touch.

“Topically?” Rose asked, the smirk on her face obvious in her tone.

There was a tug, a splash, a tangle of limbs, and then Rose was nuzzled on top of Kanaya, who blinked and missed the whole transition.

“Always warm,” Rose murmered.

“Rose, my clothes,” Kanaya said, still surprised.

“I thought trolls didn’t care about a lack of clothes.”

Kanaya had two seconds to be exasperated. Then Rose kissed her and she forgot the relevance of any other thing, first softly, then pushing in. Rose reached up behind her head and encircled one of her horns. Kanaya purred in response.

“It’s okay to makeout with one’s matesprit.” It was all the encouragement Kanaya needed. She pulled back to nip on Rose’s lip, minding her teeth. Humans were ridiculously fragile. Rose reached up behind Kanaya, pushing her shirt off along the way. She was more than happy to throw it over the side of the ablutiontrap. Her skirt followed it. Kanaya pushed her foot up the opposite end of the ablutiontrap, rubbinging up between Rose’s legs.

“Mmhm,” Rose hummed in approval.

“It is also ‘okay’ to enjoy making out with one’s matesprit.” She pushed up to kiss Rose again swallowing the human’s moans as she moved her leg back and forth. After another minute of grinding, Kanaya shifted Rose under her.

“Topically?”

Rose fished around in the ablutiontrap and retrieved the jar of sopor, handing it to Kanaya, who unscrewed the lid and rubbed a dollop between her fingers. Then looked down. Then tried to avoid frowning. Did humans not have bulges? Rose seemed stimulated, yet remained sheathed.

Rose rolled her eyes in response and grabbed Kanaya’s hand, bringing it down. “Here. Touch me like this.”

Stroking. Basic, slow.

“It tingles,” Rose said. She pushed a finger of Kanaya’s down, and murmured again. Kanaya was frustrated with how careful she had to be. If this alone was getting Rose excited, she couldn’t risk a claw.

She moved slowly, petting, circling. It may not have been a nook, but the idea was similar. Kanaya looked at it, considered its folds. And then…oh. So humans did have bulges, just very tiny ones. Kanaya rolled it between her fingers, and Rose keened. Tiny, but sensitive.

Rose had stopped helping. Kanaya searched her face for reactions. Its responses were subtler. Flushing. Strain. It was slicker. Wet, but very low on genetic material.

Kanaya considered an idea for a second, then lifted Rose up onto the rim of the ablution trap, pushing her back up against the wall. She leaned up with her tongue out stretched and licked, starting over from where her fingers were, as Rose had instructed her. First, four strokes up, flattening her tongue, gaining surface area. Rose grabbed her horns and rubbed their base, making it difficult to paint the alternian alphabet around what had to be Rose’s bulge. Kanaya purred, and Rose pushed herself into the rainbow drinker’s mouth. No. Teeth. Kanaya held Rose down, and the human moaned in protest, in need. Kanaya licked downwards.

“Hmm, you taste fantastic.”

Rose was breathing heavily. Mewing. Trying to push herself up as Kanaya held her down. She shuddered, and cried, then folded into herself.

“Rose?” Kanaya asked, concerned.

“Yes?” she said dreamily.

“Am I doing this right?”

Rose gave a halfheartedly laugh. “I came. I would say so.”

“But…” Kanaya thought, reached down to stroke Rose again, who hummed once in approval. She starred at the watery red smudge on her hand. “There is not enough genetic material to fill a spoon, let alone a bucket.”

“Do trolls really fill a bucket?” Rose asked, clearly amused.

“Two trolls to half a bucket, typically.” Kanaya said sheepishly.

“Hmm,” Rose responded, only half listening. She reached up past Kanaya and unplugged the ablutiontrap. Then, she reached down between Kanaya’s legs and cupped. Kanaya squeaked. Rose stared as Kanaya’s bulge emerged with a coaxing, wrapping itself around Rose’s hand, pulling it into her nook. Kanaya felt hot from her horns or her toes. The parts of her Rose was not touching throbbed with need.

“Wow,” Rose said simply as she rearranged her hand into different positions, like playing a violin. Jade genetic material leaked down her wrist. Kanaya purred and moaned, latching onto Rose grinding into, onto, around Rose’s hand. The other hand kneaded around Kanaya’s horn. The friction was fantastic and she only wanted more rhythmical rubbing.

“Ohhh!”

A thick coat of green coated the bottom of the ablutiontrap. “That didn’t take long.” Rose brought a stained hand up to her mouth and licked. “That’s different.” She seemed to consider the taste for a moment, then leaned back. “Do you come that much each time? I understand buckets now.

The slurry and what remained of the ablutiontrap’s water slowly drained away. For a moment Kanaya was instinctually angry about the obvious waste. Then she remembered: no drones. “It will take a few days for it to build up again.”

“Oh, but we can still do things?”

“Of course we can,” Kanaya assured her.

“Good. Thank you, Kanaya. I feel much better now.” The last of the ablutiontrap emptied. Rose plugged it back up and turned it on again. “I think we can have biology discussion later.” She leaned back onto Kanaya, snuggling, finding a comfortable position.

“I agree.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this how you do lesbian smut? I dunno. Not my forte. /shrug


End file.
